Monday, September 11, 2017
Pain
Steps up to soap box
I deal with chronic pain on almost a daily basis. Unfortunately I am allergic to most pain relievers. The only one I can take is Tylenol. And that stuff is toxic even at low doses. It doesn't touch my pain. Absolutely no relief.
At one point the pain was so bad that I was willing to turn the marijuana to find some relief. Thankfully it is illegal here and Dragon has issues with breaking the law. With my luck, I would have a massive allergic reaction to the stuff.
One day, curled up in the fetal position, I nearly gave up. Somehow during that really hard period, we figured out that alcohol cut the pain. Not the hip and back pain. Or even the pain that turns my hands into claws. But just a little whiskey reduced the headaches and facial pain.
Somehow alcohol has become my go-to drug when I just can't stand it any.
I'm careful. I know the risk. I never drink if I know I am going to drive. When I see that I've been drinking too much, I back off. Sometimes I'll go for days without a drink. If the pain isn't bad, I don't touch it.
The alternative is curling up and whispering 10 10 10. The other alternative is prescription drugs. Those drugs are just as addictive and I can't take them anyway.
If the head and facial pain is only at 6 or 7, I deal with it. 8 and above I start looking for relief.
I didn't know how Dragon always seems to know when I'm hurting. Today he told me. I loose mobility in my face. Half smiles. Slurred speech and aphasia.
Here is the biggest mystery. When Dragon starts getting concerned about how much I'm drinking, I quit for a few days or even weeks on my own. The bottles just sit there. I'm not even tempted. My daily limit is usually 4 shots for an entire day. Normal is less.
People judge me for it but I just don't care. You want to judge how I live, you try living even one day with my pain. Yes. I know what alcoholism does to a family. Yes I know what it does to my body but the alternative is suicide. I couldn't stand the pain any more.
Steps off of soap box
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
You know your body and know when to stop. When that doesn't happen anymore, then it's a problem.
ReplyDeleteWhen I feel like I'm losing control, I back way off. One day at a time.
DeleteI won't judge you as I am in a similar situation due to a motorcycle wreck two years ago. So hang in there and do what you need to do. As for your critics, let should walk a mile in your shoes.
ReplyDeleteGood luck!!
Rick
sorry for the previous comment. Tried to edit but got locked out. "As for your critics, let them walk a mile in your shoes"!!
ReplyDeleteRick
Rick, I'm sorry. I had to go to moderate all when an asshole on another blog decided to harass me.
DeleteIf any of my critics experienced even half the pain I deal with they would give up.
Hey sweet Rose...tell any critics to go suck an egg...their opinion doesn't count for a hill of beans! As the others have said, you know your body and are very aware of what you're doing. You might want to do some research into a good quality cannabis cream. Yes, it is legal and I know some people who have had some wonderful results. I haven't had a chance but am planning on researching the best for my shoulder. Sending prayers and healing energy.
ReplyDeleteHugs and blessings...Cat
Thanks cat. It is better than the alternative
DeleteHUGS...."others" always think they know best...you know best for you...hugs abby
ReplyDeleteAbby, they see me less than once a year but claim to know me. Nope. Don't think so
Delete