Friday, December 19, 2014

You Asked For It

I have an idea for a spanking story. It will probably be short but we'll see what happens.  I am playing with idea a little right now.

Hmmm


Tuesday, December 16, 2014

Christmas Books

We have a family tradition.  Every year, around Thanksgiving we pick out a Christmas story for me to read to the family.  Every year it is a new story.  This year's book is by Debbie McComber.  "Mr. Miracle".  It isn't the worst book we have chosen but it isn't the best either.

What makes it funny are my thoughts as I am reading it out loud.  I have to stop and giggle to myself before I am able to continue.  I keep thinking, "Dang that girl needs a spanking." or "Why doesn't he just tan her backside. I know he wants too."  and one more "I can see her standing in a corner with a very red behind right about now."

I know.  I'm bad.  I am the one with spanking on the mind.  Sigh...

Dragon got home late last night.  He was tired and spanking didn't happen.  He woke up ready for the day though.  A quickie before his morning shower.

He wants to get me my own laptop.  I wrote constantly as a teenager.  I had so many story ideas.  My aunt made fun of my notebooks and I sadly put them away. She never even bothered to read what I wrote.  With a few thoughtless words she crushed something I took pressure in.  I didn't even think about other people reading my stories.  I just loved to write.  Dragon wants me to start writing again. Even if no one ever sees my stories.  He said that when am ready to publish one of them, he will do all the leg work.  Find an agent, editor, publisher.  Whatever he needs to do to make it happen.  I have a great husband.  Love my Dragon just a little.

Monday, December 15, 2014

Punishment should NEVER be erotic???

I keep seeing this said. Usually on Christian Domestic Discipline pages.  I have to admit that I really don't understand it.  My husband is supposed to discipline his nude wife, stand me in a corner with my red bottom on display and be completely unaffected. I wouldn't want a spanking of any kind to be that impersonal.

Just before a punishment, he gets nervous.  Every time.  He has never explained why, just told me that it happens.  Then comes the little lecture.  It is never long.  My Dragon doesn't get long winded.  Then he gives me the next step.

I find out how much I am required to undress.  Spanked over my clothes is a rewarding for submission.  It is less embarrassing but Dragon can't see the results of each swat so those tend to be harder.  Usually about 30 moderate to hard swats.

Jeans down panties up. That doesn't leave much protection and is probably the most humiliating.  He bunches my panties up in the center and uses them as a handle to hold me still.  The paddle falls on bare cheeks with  the extra discomfort of straining panties.  These swats mostly fall on the sit spot.  Owie!  Cussing and forgetting my seatbelt put me in this position.

Jeans and panties off.  These last a little longer.  He covers more of my backside and throws in a few swats centered on my girl parts.  Gently because these are intended to startle and not really hurt.

Completely nude.  He is trying to make a point.  Embarrassment is one goal.  This one usually has more of a warm up because it is going to last longer.  

We haven't discussed the differences.  These are things I have noticed over time.  Something else that is obvious?  He gets aroused. That bulge is hard not to see.  If he wasn't affected by punishment I would be worried. I am usually in some state of undress.  I would be very concerned if he didn't find my body sexy.

He gets a view of the spanking that I have never had.  The lilly white skin first turning pink then red.  He finds my squirming sexy too.  I can't stay still no matter how hard I try.  He hears my squeaks and panting.

As soon as the first swat falls his nervousness is gone.  Replaced with determination and that crooked grin of his.  Our emotions go in opposite directions and that is just fine.

DD would end if he got nothing out of it. He gets pleasure.  I get release.  I get a way to let go of the guilt that I tend to hold on to.  He gets a very submissive wife which we both like.  Punishment makes submitting to him easier.

A punishment always ends with sex.  Why?  Spanking is hot.  Yes, even a punishment.  I need to know that he still wants me. That he loves me with everything that he is. He needs to know that it is okay. He just gave me a humiliating and painful spanking.  He needs to know that I am not angry at him and that he hasn't damaged our relationship somehow.

The arousal and love making are both very important. We both NEED it.  I can't imagine standing up after a spanking and not being aroused.  His hands on my body in the most intimate way.  How can I help it?  I want to see his body react to mine.  Making love in the aftermath of a punishment is like nothing else.  It is hot and a little desperate. I feel very uninhibited.  No shyness left.

It allows us to reconnect in a way that is absolutely amazing.

Yes, we are Christian and we are DD.  No, we don't use the Bible to guide, describe or defend DD.  It is just simply part of who we are.  Dragon doesn't punish me very often.  It isn't necessary but I can't imagine our relationship without it.  I can't imagine someone else telling me how DD is supposed to fit into our lives. I can't imagine trying to make something so personal fit into a set of arbitrary rules and guidelines.

Ps.

The spider bite is nearly healed. The black center is slowly coming off and the swelling is nearly gone.  My immune system is still in hyperdrive but I can't do anything about that.

If Dragon gets home at a reasonable hour, I am going to ask for a stress relief spanking.  These look like a punishment without the strong emotions that come with one.  From fully dressed to fully nude.  Mild to barn burner.  After I ask for it, my control over the results is over with.  Since the garage will be cool I doubt he will completely undress me.

Here is hoping he gets off at a reasonable time.  I really need to reconnect and he needs to know that I am okay after the scare with the spider bite.  I can't think of a better way to get back on track.

Friday, December 12, 2014

Morning Fun

Dragon had one of his rare days off.  He tried several times to wake me up but I was enjoying the extra sleep.  He was persistent and he had one thing on his mind.  

He had already checked out my temp charts and knew that it shows not fertile. He was ready for some fun without worrying about producing a baby.  But.....  I was worried.  The spider bite sent my temps all over the place.  From to cold to not even registering on my thermometer.  My thermometer doesn't register very high at all.  I probably should get a fever thermometer for those days.  I wasn't completely convinced even though we have used nfp for years with no unexpected surprises.

He teased and touched and fondled until I finally gave in.  He got what he wanted just not the way he planned.

I am very much in sub space
My backside is sore
Sitting is most definitely uncomfortable
I feel well used
He has a satisfied smirk on his face every time he sees me attempt to sit

I am sore because it has been to long since I have been taken there and he wasn't exactly gentle.  If he is going to take me there at all I like it rough.  I like feeling the results latter.  It is a constant reminder of his touch.  It is like a good spanking that leaves my back sore.

But I don't understand why it always puts me in subspace.  Ultimately it is sex.  Not very vanilla but still just sex. There is the humiliation factor. It always embarrasses me no matter how many times we do it.  Don't know why.  Maybe the taboo of it?  I don't know.

Submissive, humble and about as obedient as I have been since he retired.

Yes, he has taken me in my backside since then.  I don't know why it messed with my head so much.

I can probably expect round two latter today.

And one more thing.  Yes, I love the crooked grin on his face and the swagger. I have missed deep, lasting subspace.  It is great to be back.  It didn't take a scene or a spanking.  Just sex.  Hmmm.

Tuesday, December 9, 2014

Overtime Tuesday

It was another overtime Tuesday at my house.  Last week Dragon worked over 70 hours.  It makes for a good paycheck but I sure do miss him.

We sat down to eat with an empty spot at the table.  I cooked alone and w ate without him. I hate it.  Who knows what time he will get home.  I will be waiting.

It is bad this year.  He was scheduled to work 7 days a week. He finally pulled out the ADA and asked for reasonable accommodations.  As soon as the new supervisor figured out he has PTSD, it wasn't an issue.

Last year they only worked one Sunday and had to be done by 6.  Somehow he was still putting in ridiculous hours.

This too shall end.  Christmas Eve will end the rush.

Monday, December 8, 2014

Holding Him

I had forgotten how much it means to me.  Being able to reach my arms around and snuggle up to Dragon as he sleeps. The feel of his chest rise and fall. His heart beat under my fingers.  The warmth that he radiates at night.

No,nothing has happened to him.  He is just fine.  I am the one struggling.  The spider bite is on my left side.  I have to lay on that side to hold him but it hurts to much.

The bite is slowly healing.  First the halo went away and the hives improved.  The nausea went away and I could finally take a deep breath. For the last few days the dark bruised looking area is getting smaller.  A small ring around the edges turns red then pink. Now all that is left is the black center and pink irritated skin.

It is taking time but it is healing.  The blessing?  A reminder of something that I take for granted.  Holding him at night.  Being held at night.  He is afraid of hurting me.  I still can't lay on that side but that is okay.  I am snuggled up as close as I can get.  Skin to skin.  No hands but I am kinds glad.  My skin is still super sensitive.

Good night.  I am going to enjoy a good snuggle with my Dragon

Thursday, December 4, 2014

Tears

It has been a long time since a spanking has brought me to tears.  I crave them but they just won't fall.  The tears give me a little extra release that the paddle just can't bring.

Why do the tears fall so rarely?  It has nothing to do with pain.  I deal with pain every day.

So what is it?

Part of it is seeing Dragon's disappointed face.  When I have done something truly nasty and we both know it.  I hate seeing that look on his face.  If my own guilt is bad enough I'll start crying before the first  swat falls.

Sometimes I go into a spanking defiant.  "I didn't do anything wrong!  You are the one that is wrong." These tears come after.  During that quiet time after a punishment while I am trying to pull  to pull myself back together. The guilt hits and Dragon knows those tears are a signal that I am ready for the real punishment to begin.

Yes, I get spanked a second time.  Think barn burner.  The second round usually leaves marks that last a while.  It is a spanking I don't forget.

Sometimes the tears just come.  After a few swats my eyes start to water and before I know it I am a mess. Or after the spanning is over I'll cry in his arms.

What is it about those tears?  No matter how they started or why we always end up making love.  The slow and gentile kind that takes a while and leaves us both spent.

My tears give us both something  that nothing else can.  

Update on the spider bite:

One week later and it is finally getting smaller.  Yesterday I tried to cut down my benadryl dose. It makes me so sleepy that I hate taking it during the day.  Big mistake. The hives came back worse than ever.  Miserable.

The pain I can only compare to a dental procedure gone terribly wrong.  It felt like bees attacking my side day in and day out.  The hives feel like little bugs creeping across my skin.

The red halo around the bite is much smaller.  The bruising where the bite is shrank.  It is slowly getting better.  I can move without screaming.

We suspect a brown recluse spider.  Much worse than the wolf spider bite I had in Utah.